The Rules of Engaging Grief

Those who have experienced loss are reminded that death is not negotiable — it is inevitable.
With an acceptance of that truth, you might discover a freedom to devote yourself in the
remaining time to “service,” however, you wish to define service.

Recently, I asked a close friend what he would do differently if he knew that he had twenty-two
years remaining on this earth, and a soul-searching sharing ensued. (Acutally, for me twenty-two years
would be a generous allocation since I would be ninty years old.)

Later, I thought more on this theme and wrote the following poem.

Time will tell how much contemplating my demise has affected me.

“Twenty-Two”

The Angel of Death,
A robust shade,
Whispers menacingly,
Twenty-two years,

As if to fright –
Only twenty-two seasons
Still yet to celebrate,
And not one moment more.

Eight thousand lattes,
Three million smiles,
Thirteen thousand prayers,
Two hundred forgiveness-es,

Six hundred fifty care-gives,
And so much more,
But who is counting,
So he surmised.

In the buzz zone of life
Where chores, successes dominate,
Greet this worthy messenger,
Who snares attention,

In whispers and foreboding look.
Don’t turn away disheartened,
Gloomy, wracked in fear.
Look at him intently.

See recognition in his eyes,
Soft lines about his face,
Tenderness as he reminds –
Twenty-two and not a moment more.

I was “running” late, though the boys on the field were running faster.
My son’s practice was going longer than usual. I still had to drive home, make his dinner,
and head off to a meeting with friends to discuss prayer. And I still had not done my homeword
assignment for the meeting: Write a prayer to share with the group.

Sitting on a canvas chair on a Tuesday in the late afternoon sun, I wrote the following.
Consider writing your own prayer to fit where you are now.

Dear Lord,

I especially call to you when I am not sure you are near. At such times my voice is of one who
awakes in a dark forest alone and uncertain as to the direction to follow.

I don’t know why I question your presence then because it is in the silence that I always see you
and in the darkness hear you.

I ask this day that I receive clear guidance in whatever manner you choose.
I ask further that I don’t miss your gracious response to my prayer.

You know the secrets of my heart – my fears, hopes, and aspirations.

I only ask that you stir me awake so that I hear you and have the courage, resolve,
and patience to follow your guidance.

Amen