The Rules of Engaging Grief

Have you ever been asked by a child – what if when you die there is nothing?  I have, most recently last night when my eleven year came tumbling up the stairs to my bedroom and climbed into my bed with his ninety pound white Shepherd.

 “Suppose there is nothing, Dad, when we die?” he asked. I did my best to wake from a sound sleep to respond to his deeply felt theological question.

Aside from saying that I have asked that question as well, I would be disingenuous if I attempted to reconstruct the conversation from the fog of last night.  But I can say that we talked for fifteen minutes or so and he seemed satisfied.  In the course of our discussion, I told him that I would be the first to beat through the crowd ready to greet him when it came his turn to pass over to the other side.  How do I know he was at ease?  He and the dog fell into a deep sleep alongside me.

Reflecting upon our talk last night, how blessed I am for someone to have the confidence to ask me such a weighty question – to bring that deep-seated fear into the light, no longer allowing it to range freely in the interior. And those of you who grieve over loss will discover that your new found depth will do much to ease the anxieties of the little people – and the not so little people – about life and death and life.

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