The Rules of Engaging Grief

When I accept what is — even in loss – puzzling, if not distracting, alternatives are reduced and life becomes more simple — more manageable. Many years ago I trekked with a friend in western Nepal at the same time Peter Matthissen travelled in Nepal.  He later wrote his award winning Snow Leopard.  The following quote from that book has proved invaluable to me in my tumultuous journey, and I hope serves to help you reduce those distracting alternatives in your lives as well.

The Lama of the Crystal Monastery appears to be a very happy man, and yet I wonder how he feels about his isolation in the silences of Tsakang, which he has not left in eight years now and, because of his legs, may never leave again.  Since Jang-bu seems uncomfortable with the Lama or with himself or perhaps with us, I tell him not to inquire on this point if it seems to him impertinent, but after a moment Jang-bu does so.  And this holy man of great directness and simplicity, big white teeth shining, laughs out loud in an infectious way at Jang-bu’s question.  Indicating his twisted legs without a trace of self-pity, or bitterness, as if they belonged to all of us, he casts his arms wide to the sky and snow mountains, the high sun and dancing sheep, and cries, “Of course I am happy here! It’s wonderful! Especially when I have no choice!